I recently saw a tweet that basically said when you're healing you have to be mindful of the state that the person/people who hurt you are in or what they're healing from too. In other words hurt people hurt people and the people who do the hurting are also learning how to heal from their own demons. Some of us know empathy and show it the most when there are people grieving but we don't often show empathy to the ones who hurt us. Grieving isn't just in the case of losing a loved one. Grieving is also experiencing the aftermath of pain and betrayal from those who you never thought would hurt you or better yet from those who you thought would protect your heart. You know I could say that we have to do better at the expectations we put on people but that would be contrary to the expectations that are put on people who's role in our life is to actually protect us. However the line that "no one is perfect" holds true.
As I was reading a devotional this morning it mentioned about how when it comes to forgiveness and showing grace we immediately receive those things from God, but when it's our turn to do the same unto others we don't have the same energy. Of course it's tough for us because we are mere humans but I'm learning that grace doesn't have stipulations. Empathy is a choice and can be applied to any area of hurt to anyone who is hurting. I've also learned that the way that we heal could also cause more damage than good. We all have a right or reason to be angry at said person who have violated our heart, but in all honesty we also can find ourselves dwelling because it feels good. However we forget that our anger and hate can grow root in our heart and now our heart is suffocating from all things ugly instead of flowing love and freedom through our veins. We don't think about how us refraining from proper healing is more harmful for us.
I know some of you may read this and say Eb, I'm tired. I have no more empathy, grace, love, understanding, to give. As a person who has experienced hurt time and time again from the same person I completely understand. I can also tell you that God will give you the strength always even when you don't understand. Lately God has been reminding me of how good life has been for me when I add the components of empathy and grace towards those who hurt me and how bent up out of shape my mood is in the moments where I fail to add those components. It changes my view and helps me to re-evaluate how I deal and heal with and from the person who caused infliction in my life.
Today I want to challenge you to ask God to show you the person who has hurt you through the lenses that He sees them in. I challenge you to show that person a fraction of the grace and empathy that God shows you everyday. I won't say the same amount because well...baby steps. However I'm challenging you to some amount because well...God requires it.
My prayer today is that God simply gives us strength to confront our transgressions. I pray that we are able to check our hearts and let God do the rest.
-Yours Truly, Eb