Happy Saturday! As this week concludes I can honestly say it was a tough one to maneuver through. It can be complicated facing the realities in life that stare you in the face and no matter how hard you try to avoid confronting them they just don't seem to go away. One thing I've learned about myself is that my heart is one that's pure yet it seems to fail me often. I find myself thinking with my heart a lot and it's been quite the adventure navigating through setbacks, mishaps, and all the in betweens.
As I continue to learn about myself, I've learned that I've allowed certain thoughts and situations dictate a lot of things in my life such as my character or my personality. Yet I look in the mirror often to see that sometimes I'm not quite satisfied with what's looking back. I think often times we get caught up with the expectations people may put on you or the lack there of. We can get caught up in the things that my trigger certain parts that have been buried so deep that we may not even know it exist. I learned that for me it looked like finding things in people to nurture those hidden parts that I may or may not have known about. You know the parts that you often keep to yourself. The parts of you that you wished people understood but don't or can't. Society has put a lot of emphasis on the "smile and nod" narrative when navigating through life. One thing this has been also teaching me is understanding or re-understanding what God's love is and how it really does conquer all of the things I've authentically mentioned. It conquers fear, anxiety, rejection, hurt, pain, all the above. For me I began to build a false narrative of what God's love really was and felt that I only deserved it based on how well I followed His word.
No one taught me this, His word doesn't even teach this...however I made the mistake of my expectations of others and what I've experienced with people to bleed into my relationship with God. Tough thing to admit but it happens to the best of us I guess. I've come to realize that even in my tough time navigating truth I am beginning to trust again that God's love does reach me and covers me and conquers all of the things that comes with the deception of truth. As hard as it was for me to even share this I do pray that it blesses someone who may have felt like God didn't love them or has abandoned them. I'm here to remind you that He hasn't. Keep believing and trusting in Him.
My prayer today is that the true love of God will be felt in us on us and through us. I pray that we won't miss the true love of God due to deception and lies of our feelings or situations. I pray that we walk in truth and in the love of God and that we will feel loved enough where we won't seek for love in other places but in God.
-Yours Truly, Eb