As I have been growing and learning, one thing that I have been learning lately is that patience truly is a virtue. As hard as it is to be patient for some things being able to have that quality of virtue is a great thing to attain. I personally like to consider myself a patient person but in all reality I'm learning that I'm not as patient as I thought I was. Learning that in order to grow and be my best self as well as maintain and hold healthy relationships with people it requires a level of patience that sometimes is not always present.
It's easy to get caught up in the areas where you may be feeling a lack of satisfaction but it takes true virtue and courage to be able to look at yourself and say "where is it that I'm falling short?" and be able to see yourself. As someone who is huge on self reflecting and always willing to change myself for the better, I'm always trying to put the mirror in front of myself. I can admit though it's the moments where I fail to see myself when I learn the most about where I'm truly flawed and what it is I need to work on.
Realizing that I am a work in progress just as many of us are can be a tough pill to swallow, but it has allowed me to appreciate the opportunities that are given for me to grow and work on getting it right. It has shown me that the same grace that has been given to me during my moments of imperfection is the same grace that I should extend to those around me. It's realizing that fear will allow you to try to control the situation so that you don't end up getting hurt. It's opening yourself up to all of the possibilities but allowing yourself to be optimistic of the unknowing. It's stepping out of your comfort zone with crazy faith that even when you can't see what you're trusting God for you know that he's truly working on your behalf.
I've realized and learned that your heart posture can make a world of difference of how you respond and react to situations. Lately I've been finding myself repenting a lot for my heart posture being selfish and focusing on things that don't matter instead of asking God how can I be an asset to those around me and intercede. We can get so caught up on ourselves that we miss the big picture. We miss out on opportunities where we can be used by God. A harsh reality that I'm learning is that everything is not about what we want even when it looks that way. Before coming upon such clarity I remember believing that I deserved to have certain things because I worked so hard for this and that or because I been through this and that and I expected it to come from those around me. I didn't focus on receiving these things from the only person who could truly satisfy me.
It just shows that we're so used to only seeking God for the things that are too far above our heads instead of seeking him for the things that we deem small and can do for ourselves. Who are we to determine the level that we need God? We need him at every level and for everything. Who are we to deem what's doable for God and what's not? We get out of pocket when we begin trying to be in control and feeling like we only know what's best for us, when in reality God is the only one who truly knows what's best for us because he wrote our story. I'm learning not to meddle in the areas where God is growing and transforming me. It's uncomfortable but I know that if I want to be able to be at a place where I am ready to receive I need to get out of not only my way but his way as well. I need to step aside and let him do the work.
My prayer today is that we let the fear of our past circumstances go and that we find freedom from offense. I pray that we stop trying to be in control of situations that causes us to step out of our comfort zone and use faith. I pray that we will seek God at every level of our lives and trust him. I pray that we will allow our eyes to be open to the areas where we fall short and the areas that needs growth. I pray for healing from any situation that has caused us to keep our guards up and build a wall that is hindering us from true freedom. I pray that we have patience with ourselves and also with others, and I pray for peace and clarity for those still seeking.
-Yours Truly, Eb