I had a realization come upon me recently and I realized that I often hold people to an expectation that they can't always meet. Realizing that I may not fully accept certain people in my life for who they fully are was a tough pill to swallow because it's not something I want to believe to be true about myself. I look at myself as very accepting of others but I realized that I expect more from the people closest to me. I never realized that I was doing that until I realized that I was expecting to people close to me to fulfill certain voids and expectations that I have. I never understood how unfair that was for the people I care for and love.
There's nothing wrong with having standards or expectations of people, it's the way we prevent from being taken advantage of. It's how we protect and respect ourselves. One thing we can't do is expect everyone to mend the broken parts of us. We ourselves are responsible for our own healing. The more responsibility that we put on others for our healing, satisfaction, and fulfillment the more that we will become disappointed by the ones we love dearly. We can't let people disappoint us to the point where we are unhappy in relationships and in life. We have to take control and responsibility over our part and reactions in our relationships with people.
By realizing that I have the trait to hold people to a standard that I created and not fully meet them where they are at, it has pushed me to see things from a different perspective. It has opened my eyes to being more accepting of where people are at and not trying to change them for them to give me what I feel like I need or deserve from them. Realizing the many unknown flaws that I have within myself lately hasn't been easy but it's been helpful in letting me be better and grow even more in my relationships with my loved ones. We can have so many great character traits but forget to cater towards the flaws and heal the brokenness that when left untreated can cause us happiness, peace, relationships, and mental sanity. We need to really ask ourselves the question of if we could accept and deal with the people close to us if they never changed; and if the answer is no then we have to look at ourselves and ask are we truly accepting them like we said we are or do.
My prayer today is that we change our thoughts and perspectives towards people. I pray that we don't give people the power and ability to disappoint us. I pray that we take responsibility for our own healing and I pray that we are able to meet people where they are at. I pray that even when we do become disappointed by the ones we love that we will be able to still love them for who they are and where they are at.
-Yours Truly, Eb